


At least it wasn't the Book of Vile Darkness

by Nary



Category: Order of the Stick
Genre: Bondage, F/M, Humor, Tickling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-30
Updated: 2010-11-30
Packaged: 2017-10-13 11:25:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/136836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nary/pseuds/Nary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Do you have ranks in any Rope Use?" "No, but my mommy always told me having a good Dex would make up for just about anything."</p>
            </blockquote>





	At least it wasn't the Book of Vile Darkness

It wasn't that Haley didn't enjoy sex with Elan – far from it! But a girl needs a little variety after a while, and his repertoire was pretty limited to the straight up-and-up. She'd try to make suggestions in the heat of the moment, but then he'd smile at her and she'd get flustered and forget what she meant to say (though it never got to the point where she was talking in gibberish again, or at least not for more than a minute or two…) In the end, she thought a book might be the best way to go. Preferably one with diagrams. _Simple_ diagrams.

"What's this?" he said, finding it on their pillow one night.

"Just a little something, for fun."

"I like fun!" He flipped it open. "The Book of Erotic Fantasy? This is OGL stuff."

"So? There's nothing wrong with that, as long as we playtest it first and don't take any stupid prestige classes, right?"

"I… guess so." He turned a few more pages, starting to look intrigued, and she leaned over over his shoulder to see what he was reading. "Look, there are some bard spells in here… Beauty's Caress, Hedonist's Delight… Orgasmic Vibrations?"

"And Mass Orgasmic Vibrations," Haley added, pointing to the facing page.

"Mass…? Why would anyone ever need that?" Elan asked curiously. "I just want to make you happy, not everybody in the whole room!" He considered, tipping his head to the side the way he did when the wheels up there were spinning and getting just a little traction. "I mean, it might be kind of funny, but I think Roy and Vaarsuvius would get mad at me."

Haley sighed and turned the page. "Look over here," she said. Her finger ran hopefully down the list of chains, clamps, and whips.

Elan brightened. "Ooh, I actually have proficiency in whip! But Roy would never let me use it. He said only a bard could come up with such a stupid weapon and made me use a rapier instead." Suddenly he looked concerned. "But I wouldn't want to hurt you, Haley."

"Don't worry. Roy was right, it's pretty useless as a weapon." She darted in for a quick kiss. "Besides, I'd like it."

Elan smiled agreeably if uncertainly. "It doesn't sound very fun to me, but if you say so!"

Emboldened, Haley pressed on. "Do you have ranks in any Rope Use?"

"No, but my mommy always told me having a good Dex would make up for just about anything."

"Well, don't worry. I won't try to escape too hard," she said, and pulled fifty feet of coiled silk rope out from under the bed.

"Do you carry that all the time?" he asked. "I never noticed it before."

"Sure. You never know when you'll need fifty feet of rope." She helped him with the knots, and he consulted the book as necessary. "…then you cross left over right, around and under, the bunny goes through the hole, and you're done!"

"Oh," he said once she was restrained, and, quite adorably, blushed.

"'What?"

"You've, um, still got most of your clothes on." He glanced back at the open book. "That lady hasn't got anything on but a chainmail bikini…" He looked again. "…top."

"I used to have one of those," Haley reminisced.

"Really?" Elan looked intrigued. "But… you don't anymore?"

"It pinched," she said with as much of a shrug as she could manage under the circumstances. "But I could pick up another one – they're easy to find at second-hand armor shops."

Elan grinned, pleased at the mental image. "So, do I have to take the bunny out of the hole again to get you undressed?"

"It would be easier if you just cut my clothes off me," she suggested with a sly smile, eyeing the dagger on the bedside table.

"And wreck them?"

"You can always cast Mending later."

"Oh, right. Okay!" He picked up the blade, knelt over her, and began gingerly slicing through the laces of her shirt. "Haley?" he said as he slid it off, baring her breasts.

"Yeah?"

"You look really sexy like this."

It was her turn to blush. "Thank you."

He continued the meticulous work on her pants. "And… while you're tied up, I can do whatever I want to you, right?"

"That's the general idea."

An evil grin spread slowing across his face. "Oh, good." He bent down to kiss her, and then sprang into a tickle attack that soon rendered her too breathless to scream. When she finally begged him to stop, they were both gasping and sweaty and Elan was pressed hard and impatient against her thigh. Haley decided she could save the Big Book of Gnomish Sex Toys for another night.


End file.
